


Violet-Eyed Gaze

by ms_sentimentalist



Category: DCU (Comics), Teen Titans (Animated Series), Teen Titans (Comics), Teen Titans - All Media Types
Genre: Absent Parents, Angst, F/M, Gen, Truth, dark side
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-04-28 21:37:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14458269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ms_sentimentalist/pseuds/ms_sentimentalist
Summary: Raven (Rachel Roth) struggles to stay in control after discovering a truth about her past. The Teen Titans embark on various hi-jinks and chaotic endeavors while she battles her darker side as the daughter of the demon, Trigon.





	1. Control

 

 _Must keep in control, must be in control…just breathe, breathe, breathe_ …she thinks to herself, trying to, indeed, stay in control of her ever-changing emotions. As soon as she loses control, she knows, it’s over. The severity of her actions is something she would rather not worry about. Ever since The Day…she shudders, and immediately blocks that memory out of her mind. She continues to breathe slowly, steadily…and finally, she opens her eyes. Only to see more darkness – her bedroom. Temporary, but currently, safe. “A good solution to a hopeless now,” she mutters to herself. She sighs, rising from her squat on the floor. Her hand runs through her violet-black hair, and she leans on her nearby dresser. She straightens up, and with a snap of her fingers, nails painted black, various candles scattered about the room light up to reveal hidden shadows. A mirror hung on the back of the door shows her reflection. Her dark, purple sweater and black jeans stand out against the yellow contrast of the candles; her just-past-the-shoulders hair is tied half-up, out of her violet eyed gaze.

She stands there, remembering what had triggered her emotional unease. She was looking at her bookshelf, and at all the characteristically dull-looking spell books and sometimes depressing folktale novels. She came across a dark red book, and, curious, took it off the shelf and into her hands, only to see that it was a photo album. Somewhere inside, she knew it was a bad idea to look through it…but she couldn’t help it. All the photos of her family and her friends resurfaced memories of the best times, and the worst times; in the intricate life of Rachel Roth.

Shaking her head, Rachel kneels to where she was trying not to freak out moments before, and picks up the photo album. She stares at it while walking to the antique bookshelf opposite her bed. Carefully, she slides it into an empty space among the books, then turns around, tucking a strand of her hair behind her right ear. She takes one more deep breath, then opens the door and strolls out of her room.

In the hallway, light streams in from the wall-to-wall windows adjacent to her. Her eyes adjust after being in her always-dark bedroom, and her fingers reach up and feel the smooth edges of her ankh necklace. A gift from her mother. Somewhere in the tower, she can hear her fellow housemates, her friends, talking boisterously. Rachel rolls her eyes – business as usual. She walks through the topmost tower hallway and over to the stairs, and glides down three floors, briefly stopping after the second to go in the laundry room to put on her fresh and clean purple cape, pulling the hood over her head. Once she reaches the main floor, aka third floor, the volume of her friends is almost unbearable. Following their voices, she eventually reaches the modern-eco kitchen.

“Okay, now you say it. Waffles,” Cyborg says, pointing to a plate of waffles and looking back at Starfire, who always struggles with the daily terms of human beings.

“Waff-hells,” she says, obviously still struggling. Cyborg stares desirously at his breakfast and says, perhaps too excitedly, “Good! We’ll work on it again later,” and hurries off to the table to eat. Starfire, too gullible for her own good, stares off, and then notices Rachel watching in the doorway.

“RAVEN!!” she screams, much to Rachel’s dismay, and practically jumps on her. _Aliens_ , she thinks. _I’ll never understand them_. At that moment, Beast Boy struts in, this time as a possum. He really enjoys cycling through animals in the mornings. He notices Starfire rambling on about waffles to Raven, and shoots her a sympathetic look. Rachel rolls her eyes.

“…and then, I’m like, ‘What’s that?’ and Cyborg says, ‘They’re WAFF-HELLS!!’ I actually really like the words used here on Earth. Hey, do you want to do like, a SPA DAY later?? That would be SO fun!” Starfire continues, her green eyes sparkling. Her long, pink hair swirls around her as her feet rise and she begins to float in her flying stance. She does this when she’s really excited about something. Or bored.

Rachel nods. “Sure,” she says in her monotone. Starfire fist pumps the air and almost hits the ceiling, all the while shouting, “YES! YEAH! WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SOO MUCH FUN!!”

“You better get the black nail polish ready, Star,” Beast Boy jokes, his possum teeth clattering in what seemed to be a laugh. His small paws grab open the refrigerator door, miraculously, and he pulls out a leftover slice of pizza. Rachel grimaces.

“Are you going to participate in SPA DAY too?” Rachel asks, feigning excitement. Beast Boy laughs. “Nah. You two will have more fun without me. Ask Robin. He’ll be interested,” the possum says, cradling pizza and looking over at Starfire, then Rachel, giving her a knowing glance. It’s no secret that Robin likes Starfire. Except it is. To Starfire, of course.

Even with all this lightheartedness, Rachel couldn’t help but still feel devastated by the fact that her own father, the demon Trigon, was planning a vicious attack on Jump City. She couldn’t stand all this sitting around, but really, what could they do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. All because of The Day… _No. Don’t think about that_ , Rachel tells herself, holding on to an almost microscopic strand of light in all this darkness.

At that moment, Robin had waltzed in, already in costume like everyone else, immediately heading to the fridge. Rachel, still standing there, realizes she hasn’t eaten yet. She looks on as Robin grabs a slice of leftover pizza, like Beast Boy, and shakes her head. “That is truly disgusting,” she says, like she always does when she sees this act of, well, disgustingness. Robin scoffs.

“This,” he says, holding up his pizza as if it’s sacred, “is only the best breakfast EVER. You are missing out. All you eat is Cheerios, and Star eats jam like it’s going out of style,” he finishes. Rachel notices his change in demeanor as he speaks about Star. _Ugh. Also disgusting_.

She floats over to one of the cupboards and pulls out said Cheerios, also grabbing out a bowl, spoon, and milk with her mind powers. She watches on as the cereal is poured, then the milk, and her bowl moves up to her neck area. She takes the bowl and begins to eat, closing her eyes and relishing in the deliciousness. Once she’s done, she sticks the dishes in the dishwasher and floats over to the living room, where everyone else is. She pulls her hood off her head, and wipes hair out of her face, simultaneously sitting next to Star on the couch. Robin and Beast Boy have finished their pizza, and Cyborg’s waffles are missing from the plate precariously set on the coffee table. They now sit, arguing about which video game to play. Rachel looks over at Star, who is staring solemnly at her hands.

“What’s wrong?” Rachel asks quietly, worried. Starfire is never like this. They were just talking about spa day. What could possibly have happened to make her this depressed?

Star sniffs, her bright green eyes watery. “Beast Boy just told me about your mother. Wh-why didn’t you tell me? Or all of us?” she asks, looking over at Rachel. Suddenly, the boys are quiet and looking on at the scene a few feet away. Rachel glances at Beast Boy, who avoids her eyes. Cyborg sits, unmoving, and Robin just looks plain confused.

“Oh. Uh…” Rachel takes a deep breath and stands up, goes into float stance, and floats back and forth in a pacing motion. It looks like she’s walking on air. She stops and looks at everyone. “Beast Boy found me crying, and I had to say something…” she starts, hiding her fidgety hands behind her back. “You know that one feeling can set me off, and I couldn’t risk-” she shakes her head, fighting back tears. Emotions flood her, and all the dread she’s been feeling seems to fuel it all. “My mother and I lived together, briefly, in Azarath. Her name is – was, Arella. We came here, and then she wanted to go back. So, she did, and I stayed, and formed this team, and yesterday I found out that because of The Day, my father was able to harness his powers, and he killed-” it all came out in a rush, and at the end, Rachel broke. She crashes down to the floor, and begins to sob, not caring about the others, about anything. She holds her face in her hands and rocks back in forth, not able to handle it anymore.


	2. Deception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven and the team take on Jump City's infamous undesirables.

Hours later, Rachel sits in a criss-cross position, floating above her bed. She needed silence. To regain control of her emotions. To hide from her embarrassment of crying in front of everyone. She shakes her head. She knew she should have told them right after she found out. But…she just couldn’t. It was hard for her to believe, hard to process, hard to think about, even harder explaining it to everyone.  _ Well at least they know now,  _ she thinks.

An almost inaudible knock on her door interrupts her thoughts. She opens it without moving or blinking, and Star walks in. “Hey Raven,” she says, green eyes shining in the candlelight. “Hey,” Rachel replies, getting out of her meditating position and sitting on the edge of her bed instead. Star fidgets, and Rachel can tell she’s uncomfortable.

“We have a call…you alright to help?” she asks, biting her lip. She probably learned that from one of her TV shows. Rachel stands up, pulling the hood to her robe over her head. She thinks a moment, and then nods. “Yeah. I’m alright.”

∞∞

Cyborg drives the five of them in his beloved T-Car to downtown Jump City, first going through the underground tunnel connecting the Tower Island and the city itself. The drive only lasts about ten minutes, ample time for Beast Boy and Robin to argue over radio stations. Finally, they arrive at their destination – the Jump City Police Department. 

As soon as they pull up, Rachel spots the problem. Four of Jump City’s worst are standing in a semicircle with guns, probably taken from the cops hiding behind their flashing vehicles. Calculator, Deathstroke, Cheshire, and Jericho.  _ Could this day get any better?  _ Rachel thinks to herself, heaving a deep sigh. She and her teammates hop out of the T-Car, now parked on a nearby curb, and surround their nemeses. 

“Oh, look who it is,” Deathstroke says in his gruff voice, immediately pointing his recently acquired gun at Robin, who stands directly in front of him.

“Yup. Your favorite people,” Beast Boy remarks, already morphed into a lion and ready to attack. Immediately, Cheshire leaps up and fires, barely missing Starfire, who also leaps into the air. But unlike Cheshire, who falls back to the ground, Star hovers for a moment, aimed with her green and fiery blasts. Then, all you-know-what breaks loose.

Deathstroke and Robin go at it, hitting each other and dodging blows, Beast Boy takes on Calculator, who is scared to death of his lion form, Starfire and Cheshire leap and bound like they’re in a circus, and Cyborg blasts Jericho repeatedly with his built-in robot gun, who, unfazed, continues to laugh. Rachel is left standing there, not sure what to do. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she sees people at the bus stop, looking on at the fight. Cheshire seems to notice at the same time, and starts to move towards them, all the while dodging Star’s blasts.

Robin looks at the people too, now looking worried. Knowing he’ll get distracted and seeing Deathstroke use this to his advantage in the future, Rachel shakes her head and teleports to the people immediately, and then lifts them up with her telekinesis. The people, seriously confused, levitate over to the police station, where cops immediately file out and escort them inside. Rachel is relieved. 

Swiveling around to check on the fight, she sees that Cyborg has detained Jericho, now handcuffed, and the Calculator is holding his hands up in surrender, still terrified of Beast Boy. Robin and Deathstroke continue to fight, and so do Star and Cheshire. Rachel runs over to Cyborg and Beast Boy, now taking the two criminals towards the station. 

“I’ll take care of these two. Robin and Starfire need help,” she says, a little out of breath. Her two teammates nod, and run back to assist. She grabs the arms of Calculator and Jericho and teleport inside the station, handing them to some cops enjoying their coffee. Teleporting back to the fight, she uses her empathic healing to help her teammates, who, feeling stronger, now detain the criminals with ease. Feeling drained, she hovers and follows her teammates and the now defeated Deathstroke and Cheshire, back into the station. More cops take the criminals, and they are escorted out another set of doors to be loaded inside a SWAT vehicle to the prison. The Teen Titans stand in the lobby, tired, and very relieved that is over with. The police chief spots them and comes over, and Beast Boy decides to retire his lion form.

“Thanks for the help. We had just arrested them from wreaking havoc over on main when they retaliated,” he explains, looking a little embarrassed. Robin, as the leader, steps forward and shakes his hand.

“It’s no problem. That’s what we’re here for anyway,” he replies. The rest of the team nods, and chime in. “Yeah,” and “We’re here to help!” in their own words.

On the drive home, Rachel, in the middle seat in the back of the T-Car, telekinetically turns off the radio. Everyone, except Cyborg, who’s driving, turns to look at her. She takes a deep breath.

“I’m sorry for not telling you guys about Trigon, and my mother. It’s hard for me to trust anyone, and I feel especially bad for not trusting you. You guys are my family, and I wanna thank you for understanding,” she says, pulling the hood of her robe off her head afterwards. Robin is the first to speak.

“It’s okay. I mean, I never told you guys about my past with Batman until a few months ago. We all have our secrets,” he says. Star nods.

“Yeah. It just takes time, differently for each of us, to tell them,” she adds, side-hugging Rachel. Beast Boy snorts. 

“Like when you asked what my real name was and I said it was Bob,” he says, and the Titans laugh. 

“Or when I finally told you guys that I made this car out of Batman’s trash after like, a year,” Cyborg boisterously adds. The car is filled with their laughs and giggles, until they sit in silence only seconds later.

“Wait, what?”

“You didn’t.”

“How could you?”

“Isn’t trash considered private property?”


	3. Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven experiences the blues.

Rachel Roth wakes up in her twin bed, covered in a purple throw blanket acquired from a cheap grocery store. She yawns, simultaneously slipping out of bed and hovering over to her closet, picking out a black tank, black yoga pants, and her usual boots. Also black. She telekinetically makes her bed, and puts her hair up in a ponytail. A few strands slip out and frame her face. She walks over to her personal bathroom, and brushes her teeth while doing her makeup, multitasking being one of the many perks of a telekinetic. 

Minutes later, she teleports to the kitchen of the Tower, where her teammates sit at the dining table. She gets a bowl of Cheerios, with her mind of course, and starts to eat. The others eat too, in silence. After eating and putting her bowl in the dishwasher, this time with her capabilities with limbs, she sits back at the table and looks at her friends.

Starfire stares blankly at her yogurt, stirring absently with one hand and holding her chin with the other. Robin has his head on the table, sniffing every now and then. Cyborg is reading the Jump City Times, chuckling every once in a while at the stupidity of citizens, and Beast Boy is a pigeon, pecking at his toast. Rachel raises an eyebrow.  _ Today is our day off. Shouldn’t they be cheerful? At least a little more than I am?  _ she thinks to herself, confused.

“Did everyone wake up with the blues?” she asks. Robin raises his head, and runs his hands through his messy brown hair. He blinks for a moment at Rachel, and then puts his face back down on the table. 

Cyborg glances at Rachel over the top of the paper, but says nothing, and Beast Boy stares at her with his beak. Starfire sighs.

“Today is the last day before the day of school,” she says sadly, with her usual incorrect usage of words. Rachel blinks.  _ Already? _

“Oh. I see,” she says, now feeling a bit down herself. She looks on the bright side. “At least we have all our supplies?” she offers, hoping to do something, anything, to cheer her team up.

Robin grumbles and Cyborg scowls. Rachel sighs, and prepares to feel the onslaught of her friends’ blues. She closes her eyes, concentrates really hard, and within seconds, feels her power buzzing around her body. She uses her emotion negation, and steals the feelings from her teammates, immediately absorbing some serious depression. A few seconds later, she opens her eyes to observe the others. They all seem to straighten up, like puppets attached to strings.

“Feel better?” Rachel asks, in a darker monotone than usual. She slumps her shoulders, and almost regrets what she just did.  _ I’m used to this,  _ she thinks.  _ I’ve felt worse.  _

Starfire rises from her seating position and into the air, swirling around like a fairy or something. “That was AMAZING,” she practically screeches, her hair continuously bouncing around. Rachel glances at Beast Boy, who, now in his normal form, has a huge grin on his face. “Wow. Gee, thanks Raven,” he says, jumping off his toast and onto the ground. Robin is now cleaning the kitchen, hopping around like he drank several cans of Dr. Pepper, his favorite. And Cyborg, believe it or not, runs around and around the dining table, and Rachel can hear the hum of his busy circuitry.

Rachel gets up, simultaneously saying, “Anytime. Now please act cheerful for the rest of the day. I better not regret this.” She teleports to her dark bedroom, and telekinetically brings her black backpack from under her twin bed. She peeks inside. Just as she predicted, she had already prepared for tenth grade months ago. Three, to be exact. She remembers envisioning this situation quite a while ago. Sometimes she gets small glimpses of the future. This often results in a lot of déjà vu. Sighing, she sits on her bed, throwing her backpack by the door to the hallway.  _ Now, to pick out an outfit.  _ Rachel uses her powers to remove all the clothes from her closet and bureau, and swirl them around in the air. She carefully views each pairing, finally deciding on a purple tee, a black lace vest, and dark skinny jeans. Her philosophy for the first day, first week, rather, is to not look  _ too  _ Goth. Or you’re branded as one for the rest of high school. And she really isn’t. She just prefers dark clothing. 

After setting her outfit on top of her bureau, next to her portable stereo, Rachel decides to check up on the others. She teleports to the living room, only to find utter chaos. Beast Boy is a monkey, tossing notebooks and folders to Robin, who quickly puts them in various piles. Starfire is blasting classical music, braiding her hair, and kicking around her pink binder, and Cyborg is sharpening pencils like a madman. Starfire, like usual, is the first one to notice her. 

“RAVEN!” she characteristically screams. She quickly finishes her braid and grabs Rachel’s arms, swinging her around in the air. Rachel tries to smile, instead coming up with a grimace. “We are almost ready for the day of SCHOOL!” Star screams, still yanking Rachel’s limbs. Finally, she lets go, and Rachel is thrown onto the couch.  _ Why me?  _

She watches the chaos around her, then, exhausted merely from watching her friends, snaps her fingers. Her favorite spell book appears in her lap, and she begins to re-read the delicate pages. Snapping her out of her reverie, her teammates become silent, and plop down next to her. Robin nudges her. “I’m pretty sure whatever you did wore off,” he says matter-of-factly. Rachel sighs.

Cyborg, yawning, says, “Let’s watch a movie.” Starfire leans into the couch. “Yeah!” she says, attempting to sound bright. Beast Boy reaches for the remote on the coffee table and turns on the TV. They end up watching a zombie movie. Rachel sighs yet again, and glances up at the sky, feeling like she did that morning. Her attention returns to the kind-of gory movie, and after a few minutes, glances at her friends. They were all fast asleep. Rachel smiles.  _ Peace at last. _


	4. Psionic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team goes back to school.

_Beep, beep, be-_ Rachel reaches toward her nightstand and turns her alarm clock off before sliding out of bed. She simultaneously makes her bed and floats over to her bathroom, immediately starting to get ready for her first day of tenth grade. _Yippee,_ she thinks, _another year of torture._ Honestly, though, the only thing she doesn’t like about school is the people. The judging, insecure, prejudiced people. Who sort her into the loner group after seeing her dark hair and dark clothing. Or better yet, the Goths. She sighs, thinking about all the possibilities while brushing her teeth. She finishes, spitting out her toothpaste and rinsing with the Tower’s cool water and dabbing her chin with a nearby towel. Rachel decides to manually do her makeup today. _Better practice. People would go all ‘Salem Witch Trial’ on me if I telekinetically fixed my makeup in the bathroom._ After about five minutes of putting on eyeliner and a little bit of brown eye shadow, Rachel does her hair in her usual half-up half-down style and exits the bathroom.

She quickly puts on the clothes she picked out the previous day and doesn’t forget her ankh necklace. It’s a good chakra object, and reminds her, since it was given by Arella, her mother, that she is as human as anyone else. Except Starfire, obviously, since she’s from Tamaran. Rachel has only been once, when she helped Star escape execution. She had a glimpse of the future, and knew that she had to save Star, and that she would be a part of the team afterwards.

After gathering her things and slinging her backpack over her shoulder, Rachel teleports to the kitchen where the others, also ready, are eating breakfast. She grabs a bowl of her usual Cheerios and sits next to Starfire, who’s eating some yogurt.

“RAVEN!!” Starfire greets Rachel and hugs her extra tight, probably because she is extra excited for ‘the first day of the day of school’. Rachel can’t help but smile. “Hey Star.”

Starfire lets go and voraciously downs her yogurt, and Rachel eats her Cheerios, glancing at the others. Robin is holding a mirror in front of his face and fixing his hair, probably for the fiftieth time. He notices Rachel staring and shrugs. “What? I need to look good,” he says, putting down the mirror and finishing off his bagel.

“It’s _school._ People wear _sweatpants_ and look like they just rolled out of _bed._ You do not need to spend an hour looking at yourself,” Rachel says, grinning. Robin gives her a dirty look, and the rest of the Titans laugh. Beast Boy is actually a boy this morning, and is eating a leftover slice of pizza. Rachel shudders, disgusted. Cyborg is drinking a very green smoothie, staring greedily at Robin’s bagel. Rachel rolls her eyes and snaps her fingers, and a delicious-looking cinnamon bagel appears in front of her friend. Cyborg beams.

“What, are you on a diet or something?” Rachel asks. Cyborg shakes his head. “Nah. We just had some kale and lettuce in the fridge and the robot part of me knew you guys would waste it. Thanks Rave,” he says, immediately picking up his bagel. By that time, Rachel is done with her Cheerios and stands, taking her bowl and spoon over to her dishwasher. After putting those in, she turns, and leans on the counter.

“So…who’s going to school, exactly? I know Robin and I are,” Rachel asks. Starfire, she knew, really wanted to go, and so did Beast Boy. He would disguise himself, morph like he usually does, and fit in well. That’s what she thought, anyway.

“I can’t, obviously. And I don’t really need to. Or want to,” Cyborg says, done with his bagel and licking his metallic fingers. Starfire has a thoughtful expression on her face, and then sighs.

“I don’t know if I can. I mean…look at me. I won’t fit in,” she says. She shrugs. “It is of the okay. I’ll work with Cyborg,” she finishes. Rachel glances over at Cyborg, who has frozen and now looks terrified of being with Star all day. He recovers, and comes near Rachel to wash his hands. She looks over at Beast Boy, who nods. “I’m going. It’s going to be AWESOME!” he yells, fist pumping the air. _Well, that’s settled._

∞∞

Rachel sits through all eight of her classes at Jump City High School, home of the Jaguars. She forgot how exhilarating it is, the first day. She briefly went to elementary school, since Arella wanted her to live the quintessential non-half-demon life, and kind of missed this learning thing.

The final bell rings and her AP Chemistry class is dismissed. Other students flood out of classes opposite hers, creating a thick ocean of hormones and mal-hygiene. Rachel recalls the conversation she and her team had about school, and that they should try it. She knew it would be hard for them to balance both crime-fighting, and education, but they needed it. What else were they to do all day? When they weren’t kicking butt? Rachel’s mind wanders while she distracts herself from the rudeness of others, pushing through tight spaces to finally arrive at her locker. She grabs her stuff and heads out the lobby doors.

It was a beautiful day in Jump City. It usually is in this West Coast urbanized community. The breeze donated by the ocean gives it a radiance other cities just don’t have. Rachel walks over to a bench and sits down at hers, Robin’s, and Beast Boy’s designated meeting spot. She waits about ten minutes – ten minutes after she originally expected them. While waiting she observes the normalcy of it all, of all the average teenagers, with the same style of clothes, same hair, same bags…

“Hey, Ray-Ray,” she hears. She looks around her, and to her right stands Beast Boy and Robin. Taken aback by the new nickname, she says, “Hey,” and rises from her spot on the bench. She looks at her friends. They both have a weird look on their faces, as if, as if…Rachel closes her eyes and concentrates. Opening her eyes and looking back at Robin and Beast Boy, she uses her psionic ability to feel their emotions, or, empathize. _Extremely useful in these situations,_ she thinks to herself. Being a half-demon isn’t all that bad.

At first, she feels really warm. She feels…fatigued? No…annoyed? Slowly, she is able to put several names to several emotions. Embarrassed. Ashamed. Selfish. Immature. Irresponsible. _The last two aren’t really a surprise. But…embarrassed?_ Rachel thinks to herself, quickly going through all the possibilities.

“Um…are you okay?” Robin asks, clearly uncomfortable. Rachel smirks. “I think the real question is: what happened today?” she says, and both of her teammates cringe.

“You used that…that weird empathy power, didn’t you?” Robin asks. Beast Boy nudges him. “See? I knew she’d find out,” he says.

“Come on guys. Just tell me!” Rachel says, a little afraid to know what happened. Robin takes a deep breath, his blue eyes closing for a moment as he prepares to recount, but Beast Boy beats him to it.

“We were doing a popularity contest. Who would get the most numbers from girls, that type of thing. In order to…” he searches for the right word. Rachel raises an eyebrow. “Show off?” “Yeah. Anyways, we used the laser gun Batman gave Robin for Christmas and, um…” Beast Boy immediately loses his confidence, and glances over at his fellow troublemaker.

“And we, um…the laser went through a whole row of lockers,” Robin finishes, not meeting Rachel’s gaze. All is silent between them, except for the occasional chatter of students hanging out around them. Then Rachel laughs. After a few moments, she regains her composure and, amused, says, “Oh really? Well that’ll show those lockers!” and continues to laugh, this time clutching her stomach. She sees Robin and Beast Boy glance at each other, confused, and finally straightens up.

“Whew. Sorry. So. Let me guess…you got expelled?” she asks, still smiling. “Yeah,” “Yup,” her friends reply, quietly.

“Well, we told the principal that you were with us and would call someone…” Robin adds, trailing off. Rachel feels her mouth form an “o” shape.

“And I was expelled too. Great! Just…” she folds her arms across her chest and sits back down on the bench. “I can’t believe it! You just ruined our chance to – to have a somewhat normal life. I wanted to give you guys the choice to experience what people our age experience. So that you wouldn’t hate me for forming this team, for stealing your lives,” she says, her voice breaking. _Well, you tried. By tomorrow the Teen Titans might not exist anymore, but you tried,_ she tells herself, over and over. _You tried._ She closes her eyes, angry with herself for even believing, for one second, that the Teen Titans would actually survive and save Jump City from eating itself.

“Look – Rave, we didn’t mean to. It was -” Beast Boy starts, sitting next to Rachel. Robin interrupts when he’s halfway through his sentence.

“So is that what this was all about? You thought that we would _blame_ you for trying to make a difference? That’s not how it works. We all _agreed._ You _asked_ us. It was our _choice._ Steal our lives? Please. Just because you’re a half-demon doesn’t mean you control everything,” he says, looking down at Rachel. She stands up again so she doesn’t have to crane her neck to meet his eyes.

“You’re right. I just wouldn’t be able to live with myself if this team split up or something. You guys are the only home I have. You’re my family. I had to make sure -” she starts, trying to explain herself. But Robin and Beast Boy suddenly hug her, and the rest of the words are startled from her.

A minute or two later, they all pull away. Beast Boy sighs. “Come on. Let’s go home,” he says, and Rachel nods. “Okay. Give me a second,” she replies, and then turns to Robin. The very first she recruited for the Teen Titans. He was the one who told her that everything would work out. _I guess he was right,_ she thinks.

“Thanks for understanding. I – um, you’re a great friend, Robin,” she says, smiling. He nods. “Happy to be here.”

∞∞

Once they teleport back to the Tower and tell Cyborg and Starfire what happened, they all end up back at the dining table, where they started this morning. While Beast Boy is talking animatedly about the principal’s reaction, Robin nudges Rachel.

“So, I’m not your _best_ friend?” he asks, smiling. Rachel smirks. “You can’t use that card. I didn’t want to hurt Gar’s feelings. Gosh _Richard._ Be more sensitive about other people’s feelings,” she says jokingly. He scoffs.

“Go _get_ some feelings, half-demon,” he replies. At that point, the others were listening, and after Robin’s line, they all start to laugh. _All is right in the world,_ Rachel thinks. _For now._ Rachel stops laughing. Terror fills her veins. _Get out of my head._

“Now is that any way to greet your father?”


	5. The Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally learn about the events of The Day.

**One month ago**

Rachel and the others parade down Center Street in downtown Jump City, where, currently, fifty or so of their worst enemies are wreaking havoc. The alarm is heard from the penitentiary only five miles away, signaling that several inmates have escaped. How did they escape? The Teen Titans could care less. They just wanted to detain them and keep them away from innocent citizens. 

She looks around. It’s around noon, and she predicts this will probably last until that night. The scattered skyscrapers provide shade, and the sudden coolness almost gives Rachel the chills.  She is not looking forward to this. In her heart, she knows this won’t end well. And she was right. 

As soon as they come across the H.I.V.E. gang and other solo criminals, they jump into action, spreading out across the boulevard. Rachel takes on Jinx, using her soul-self projection of a raven to startle her, distract her, so that she could take her out with one, final blow. This proves to be a good strategy. Seconds later, Jinx and some villains the other teammates were fighting are lined up against a wall, cuffed with either Robin’s grapple line or Rachel’s telekinetic grasp. 

The Teen Titans fight and fight, never resting, and Rachel uses her empathic healing to restore their energy. But that isn’t enough. Hours later, the Jump City PD arrives and detains the thirty they’ve defeated, and the Titans have to return to their mission. Rachel feels her tense soul within, its desire to manifest overwhelming. She shakes the feeling of fear, always returning to the task at hand.  She can see her friends struggling, and glance at her every so often. She didn’t feel well – she could only imagine how well she looked. 

She uses more empathic healing, draining her own energy to do so. She staggers, but still manages to knock out a couple more thugs and criminals.  _ You can do this,  _ she thinks to herself, blinking away the haze in her eyes. Rachel continues, getting weaker and weaker every second she stands, every breath she takes. Moments later, she falls on her knees, unable to rise, barely able to breathe. She had used more power than she ever had – to heal the others, to heal herself, to hold the criminals, to fight them – this was bad.

The demon in her takes its chance. It never wants to feel powerless, and she can always feel it when she’s either in deep or angry. She tried, with all that she had left, to fight it off. But she couldn’t. It had been set on destruction for years…now, it could do just that. Rachel’s body rises from the ground, and the other Titans watch as her violet-indigo eyes turn a haughty red. Her eyes close for a moment, and then another pair, a smaller pair, reveals itself above them. Seconds later, a burst of red and purple energy surrounds her, and her control is gone. The demon is steering her now. The Rachel she wanted to be could only see darkness. 

“Darkness takes you!” she shouts, her voice morphed into that of a demon’s. The ground shakes and dark vines climb out of the cracks, crawling onto the surrounding buildings and grabbing her friends. 

“No! Raven, don’t! You can fight this!” Robin shouts, desperate and unable to do much else. Starfire chimes in.

“Raven, take con-” she is interrupted by a loud  _ CRACK _ as the street splits in two, and Rachel fires bursts of energy at everything. 

Power floods her body, and energy fills her veins. Rachel was so powerful… _ too  _ powerful. She could feel herself slipping away as the demon attempted to replace her entirely, her very mind becoming a foggy cloud of darkness.  _ My father would have a field day with this,  _ she thinks to herself, doubtful that she’d ever see the light of day to know. At one point, Rachel is able to see in the demon perspective. It was so red. All the shadows were prominent and threatening, all the people like little flies, swarming everywhere. The demon makes her turn to the left, and there, she sees her friends. Trapped in the vines, struggling to get out, and shouting at her. Rachel blinks. She shakes her head. Wait.  _ Her friends. _ She watches in horror as the demon controls her arms, making them move in the direction of the other Titans. She feels the energy rushing to her hands, the burst ready to be launched. 

“NO!” she shouts, and the demon is startled, slowly shrinking into what it once was. Her demon eyes disappear, and her original pair returns to normal. Rachel struggles to breathe, and feels her body go limp with exhaustion. She falls, falls, falls…down onto the warm and cracked asphalt, her cape gathering around her defeated body.


	6. Reverie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven faces her father, the demon Trigon.

Rachel swivels around to look at her father, the demon Trigon. His red skin and white hair make a stark contrast against the dusk lighting. Immediately, she summons her powers. She was glad that they had all changed into their crime-fighting costumes once they got back – otherwise, they’d be in for a beating.

“My dear, sweet daughter, Raven. Or should I say Rachel? I’m actually surprised you call yourself that. I never really understood mortal names,” her father continues, his voice dark and deep. 

“Fascinating,” Rachel deadpans with her monotone, trying to keep her cool.

“Indeed,” her father replies, and suddenly, she is lifted out of her chair and into the air, now coiled in a dark chain summoned by her father’s powers. She glares at him, daggers in her angry violet-indigo eyes. She struggles, even trying to pull the chain from around her body with a dark hand, but goes limp soon after.  _ It’s no use,  _ she thinks, afraid that the day she’s been running from most of her life has now arrived. 

“Now. You are going to do exactly as I say, or your little friends here will die,” her father says, his demon eyes glowing with power, with the anticipation of his plan taking place. Rachel watches in horror as her teammates are lifted out of their chairs and also chained, only with a barbed wire of sorts.  _ No… _

Her mind whirs, trying to think of something, anything, she could possibly do to get them all out of this mess. But she’s snapped out of her brainstorm when her body starts to buzz, then shake. She glances at her father, whose unnatural smile shines in the coming darkness. Her head starts to pound, her heart starts to beat twice its normal rate. Her body is overwhelmed by stabbing, unrelenting pain. There’s a boomlet of suffering, and Rachel lowers her head in submission. 

“Good girl. There’s still hope! Now, your friends will stay here while we, and my demon army of course, conquer the Earth. Come along,” her father says, and Rachel glances one last time at her helpless friends before they teleport to the top of the Tower. The ocean breeze threatens chills as she stands there, still bound by dark energy chains. 

She watches as her father turns to the sky and closes his eyes, hands reaching towards the few remaining clouds. He mutters a spell, and the sky goes a deep, blood-red color. A single, endless-seeming hole appears, and thousands of demons spill out of it, swirling around and landing on various buildings across Jump City. The pain in her body finally subsiding, Rachel watches as the end of mankind approaches, guilt filling every corner of her soul.  After a few moments, Trigon turns to face his daughter, his pawn.

“You’re probably feeling some deep regret, aren’t you? From that one day a month ago, when you accidentally summoned me from my detainment in Azarath. You know, your mother was, well, still is, convinced that you would never let your demon side manifest. She was apparently wrong…and now, probably sulking somewhere,” her father says, arrogant. Rachel mulls over what he said. Her mother was now  _ sulking  _ somewhere? The present tense he used makes something click in her mind.  _ She’s alive. _

“Wait – my mother…is alive?” she asks, confused. Her guardian from Azarath had told her, in a vision, that Trigon had killed her to become more powerful…was it a lie?

Her father laughs, his black tongue rising to the roof of his mouth. “Aha! I was wondering when you’d figure that out. That guardian of yours was so easy to fool. I just destroyed her house, left some blood on the walls, on the floor…and they all presumed she was dead! Too gullible, those people. Those… _ pacifists, _ ” he spits, his demon eyes flashing. Rachel shakes with rage.

“You monster,” she growls, feeling her energy return.  _ How stupid I was! I didn’t even question it…not for one second did I doubt anything,  _ she thinks, disappointed in herself. 

“And you’re not? You almost killed your friends. You almost destroyed a mile of this city! And  _ I’m  _ the monster?” her father says calmly, making Rachel even angrier. 

Suddenly, an aura of purple and black bursts from her body, and the chains restraining her break and vanish. The rage she had felt had harnessed her energy and powers. Her father, surprised, takes a step back. Demons continue to flood out of the hole in the sky, and Rachel can hear screams all throughout her city. Now free from the chains, she kneels on the Tower’s roof, taken aback by the course of energy. She knew what she had to do. She had to cleanse her father. Not with light – he only converts that into what he can use – with darkness. Rachel looks up at her father, and rises from her knee. Her dark cape billows in the wind. She clenches her fists, now armored with metal.

“Back in the game, are we? I can’t wait to feel more power,” her father says, armored as well. Rachel gets ready, feeling a strange calmness as her eyes become yellow.

“This is no game,” she says, her voice amplified by her pure energy. She thrusts her armored hands towards her father and bursts of purple and black come forth, flowing directly from her soul. Her soul filled with both demon and human; dark and light; death, and life. 

The demon Trigon lets out a deep, “NO…” as he is thrust backward and into the sky, and finally pushed into the dark pool above. The demons from the ground and rooftops are also pulled and sucked into the black swirl, blood-curdling screams being unleashed from their unhappy souls. As the last hundred or so are finished, Rachel can feel her eyes go back to their normal violet-indigo, and the armor on her hands vanish. The dark hole finally closes, and the sky returns to its dark blue. Once the final ounce of her power is used, she collapses onto the roof, her pale cheek resting on the cool steel.

∞∞

“Is he gone for good?” Beast Boy asks Rachel, who is sitting in the bedroom hallway, recovering from the rooftop scene. Starfire is seated next to her, Robin is leaning on the opposite wall, and Cyborg is next to Beast Boy, in front of the girls.

Rachel shakes her head, now uncovered by her hood. She can feel her hair resting on her shoulders, slightly curling from all the sweat and toil. “No. He’ll be back. He always comes back. But it won’t be for a while. A really long while,” she replies, clutching her knees to her chest.  _ You can only hope,  _ she hears the familiar deep and arrogant voice in her mind, and closes her eyes, feeling it drift away slowly, into nothingness…into the darkness.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This is my first posted work and I am excited to be a part of AO3.


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